Fee Fi Fo Fum
I smell the blood of an Englishman
Be he alive or be he dead
I shall grind his bones to make my bread.
....as I just sat down in my bed to blog, the poem passed thro' my head....no relevance really.
Anyway, these days I feel a little low. I have an idea why. As this MBA moves into it's final leg, it is time to decide what I want to do next and that.....is not easy. Having majored in finance, I am not really worth taking up this field. Going back to IT makes me feel I may have wasted a good one year of my life. So, I am basically in a limbo.
One had hoped for a business plan by the end of this course but it seems that is not to be....for now, at least. Aseem has spent quite a bit of time hoping that I will wake up and make some valuable contribution but that has not happened either and now he needs to figure out what he wants to do. Sticking with me is not going to help him.
Lost. That is what I am. It wasn't very different earlier either but then the job was a respite that helped me pass my time. Now....now it's different, I am supposed to make some decisions - decide what I want to do next. And I swear, I have no idea.
This MBA had 3 purposes:
1) Help me break from the rut I was in for the last eight years and 'rejuvenate' me so that I enjoyed working again.
2) Help me learn finance.
3) Clear my thoughts so as to know where I want to take my life.
I have achieved neither of the 3. I am where I was a year back.
As of now, I am thinking about finishing this course and spending some time with zi and ayesha. Go back to India and then look for a job. Heck! I don't even feel like working. This is the problem.....I don't want to work. My heart's not into it.
I am in a semi-depressed state for months now and I am sliding even further. I find the environment stifling and this is killing me. Once I dislike something/someone, chances are things won't change. Ever.
Life is a set of equations. You have two equations and you know the variables, you have answers. Just keep forming the equations and you will have your answers. The time you don't get answers is when you tend to complicate your equations with unnecessary variables. It seems that I haven't got my equations right as yet.
Life is straight. It's just that we have chosen to be blind and deaf.
