So, this is how it goes.....arrogance is forbidden. Period.
My Lord does not like it. Does not tolerate it. There is none bigger, mightier, greater than Him. The literal word of Islam is surrender - surrender to the Lord's will. You surrender yourself completely. Arrogance does not allow you to do that. Till the point you do not realize that you do not have an identity without His will, you will continue to resist surrendering to His will. And He does not like that.
My time is coming. My time to accept His will completely without a word uttered. If I have arrogance, that needs to go first. How does that go? Well, it's not very hard to figure out....you go through "back-breaking" times - in my lingo your spine is broken till the time you have completely bowed to Him, submitted to His will.
What that effectively means is that there is a rough rough road ahead...time to learn to prostrate....
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
What's on...
Whats on? I'm tired and sleepy. Slept at around 430 last morning. Woke up late but that does not take away the fact that I haven't slept long enough :-)
Anyway, no discourses today. I don't think they make sense to anyone but me (to some extent). Spent last evening with zi which was good. He's just joined his new job. Still getting used to the place. Just had one advice for him - don't screw anyone especially your boss. Sonofabitch has a really bad temper. I shit in my pants when I think I have pissed him off. Anyway, things were ok with him otherwise mashallah.
This reminds me of another character, who's mood is swinging like a pendulum these days...Aseem. Looks quite irritated these days. God knows why. I know he has a mood swings just as I do, but I have never seen it swing as much as I have seen in the past week or two. Snaps off at the drop of a hat. Phew! I'm keeping my distance man. Just don't want him screwing my backside for whatever reason. I think this place is really getting to him right now. But I am not too sure about that either as he's just been to India last month. You can't really get homesick in a month for Christ's sake! Whatever it is....I hope he figures it out soon, if he hasn't already. I am not feeling good seeing his mood swings. Mood swings is like a disease, it's a bad thing. You are just not stable. So, if it's in small proportions, it's ok. Everyone has it but if you have it like me, then you really feel sorry for yourself. Aseem's nowhere near that but I hope he controls it asap, all -ve things just keep growing inside you if you don't consciously check them. He's a balanced character, far more balanced than me. I am sure he will control it.
Speaking of homesickness....it's happening to me. Quite honestly, I am not too sure if it's homesickness or am I just plain sick of this place. Would love to be back in Delhi asap. It's roughly 26 days to go now from what I am hearing.....nice. Wait a minute! I haven't booked my ticket as yet....:-)
Classes.....not too sure whats going on. It's 6 months now and I haven't picked up much as of now. Not good. The professors are top grade. Most from IIMs etc...you honestly can't get better than that. But I guess the batch is not really there. Was thinking about this for a while when Aseem mentioned the other day, this is part of destiny and we will know what we are here for. That's absolutely true. The way this whole thing happened, it was just odd. There's got to be a purpose. I am sure we will both know it soon.
Things happening on Gaudy's front too....he's thro' in his first round for the PM IJP. Good for him. I am sure he will be able to pull off the second round provided his "surdiness" doesn't strike during the interview. Y'see Gaudy is a very fine manager but somehow, I think it's the nervousness of sitting in an interview which causes him to blurt out some of the most astonishing (and amusing) answers! Anyway.....he's very close to becoming a PM now. He cannot afford NOT to cross the finishing line now. I am sure he will. Pradipta, I am sure would have always felt that he had some very strong horses when it came to becoming PMs - Aseem, Gautam and Ibrahim. So, it would be most unfortunate if Gautam lets him down. Aseem always had the odds brought about by the preconceived notions heavily stacked against him. The preconceived notions were more of management and more of peers. If I were sitting in the Sr. management's position, would I really like to piss off a good 2 dozen of "aspiring PMs" by making Aseem a PM who was less than half their experience? Not really. It's common sense. Even while knowing that Aseem was possibly beyond this mediocrity by infinity....now this is what I call "management by mediocrity" :-) So, Gaudy is the last one left and so, cannot afford to let Pradipta down especially when he's almost there, knocking on the door.
Hopefully, will be making a trip to AD this friday. This may just be my last trip before I leave this place. So, it's important I see Ayesha, Chip and the little ones.
In short, life's ok....my "system malfunction" has come almost under control after close to 2 weeks just as I had thought. It takes a while for the system to cool off. Still learning the ropes.
She's doing ok. Missing me. An angel - that's what she is. I miss her.
Later.
Anyway, no discourses today. I don't think they make sense to anyone but me (to some extent). Spent last evening with zi which was good. He's just joined his new job. Still getting used to the place. Just had one advice for him - don't screw anyone especially your boss. Sonofabitch has a really bad temper. I shit in my pants when I think I have pissed him off. Anyway, things were ok with him otherwise mashallah.
This reminds me of another character, who's mood is swinging like a pendulum these days...Aseem. Looks quite irritated these days. God knows why. I know he has a mood swings just as I do, but I have never seen it swing as much as I have seen in the past week or two. Snaps off at the drop of a hat. Phew! I'm keeping my distance man. Just don't want him screwing my backside for whatever reason. I think this place is really getting to him right now. But I am not too sure about that either as he's just been to India last month. You can't really get homesick in a month for Christ's sake! Whatever it is....I hope he figures it out soon, if he hasn't already. I am not feeling good seeing his mood swings. Mood swings is like a disease, it's a bad thing. You are just not stable. So, if it's in small proportions, it's ok. Everyone has it but if you have it like me, then you really feel sorry for yourself. Aseem's nowhere near that but I hope he controls it asap, all -ve things just keep growing inside you if you don't consciously check them. He's a balanced character, far more balanced than me. I am sure he will control it.
Speaking of homesickness....it's happening to me. Quite honestly, I am not too sure if it's homesickness or am I just plain sick of this place. Would love to be back in Delhi asap. It's roughly 26 days to go now from what I am hearing.....nice. Wait a minute! I haven't booked my ticket as yet....:-)
Classes.....not too sure whats going on. It's 6 months now and I haven't picked up much as of now. Not good. The professors are top grade. Most from IIMs etc...you honestly can't get better than that. But I guess the batch is not really there. Was thinking about this for a while when Aseem mentioned the other day, this is part of destiny and we will know what we are here for. That's absolutely true. The way this whole thing happened, it was just odd. There's got to be a purpose. I am sure we will both know it soon.
Things happening on Gaudy's front too....he's thro' in his first round for the PM IJP. Good for him. I am sure he will be able to pull off the second round provided his "surdiness" doesn't strike during the interview. Y'see Gaudy is a very fine manager but somehow, I think it's the nervousness of sitting in an interview which causes him to blurt out some of the most astonishing (and amusing) answers! Anyway.....he's very close to becoming a PM now. He cannot afford NOT to cross the finishing line now. I am sure he will. Pradipta, I am sure would have always felt that he had some very strong horses when it came to becoming PMs - Aseem, Gautam and Ibrahim. So, it would be most unfortunate if Gautam lets him down. Aseem always had the odds brought about by the preconceived notions heavily stacked against him. The preconceived notions were more of management and more of peers. If I were sitting in the Sr. management's position, would I really like to piss off a good 2 dozen of "aspiring PMs" by making Aseem a PM who was less than half their experience? Not really. It's common sense. Even while knowing that Aseem was possibly beyond this mediocrity by infinity....now this is what I call "management by mediocrity" :-) So, Gaudy is the last one left and so, cannot afford to let Pradipta down especially when he's almost there, knocking on the door.
Hopefully, will be making a trip to AD this friday. This may just be my last trip before I leave this place. So, it's important I see Ayesha, Chip and the little ones.
In short, life's ok....my "system malfunction" has come almost under control after close to 2 weeks just as I had thought. It takes a while for the system to cool off. Still learning the ropes.
She's doing ok. Missing me. An angel - that's what she is. I miss her.
Later.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Sins...
A depressing subject but let's talk sins. Let's break up the sins into two categories -
1) Committed against another being
2) Committed against Him.
The system is based on fairness. What you sow is what you reap. If you are a sinner, there is a punishment. But again, the rule of double jeopardy applies. If you are punished in this world, you will not have to face a trial there. A note of caution - the punishment must be as per the severity of the sin committed. So, if you manage to get a 'lean' sentence for the sin in this world, your penance is not complete. The sentence must be completed.
Can penitence reduce/remove penance?
Well, this is a little tricky. The party wronged here is the one which has the right to forgive the perpetrator which can reduce/eliminate the penance but otherwise, it remains. Again, in the right sense of penitence, the perpetrator would feel so sorry about what he/she has done that the person may actually ask for penance. This again, is sort of an oxymoron since the purpose of penance is forgiveness and forgiveness leads to 'zero' penance.
Let me try to explain the para above, how many times do we ask for forgiveness where we genuinely feel that we need to be punished? Well, if that's not the case, then the penitence is asked out of fear of the punishment that we anticipate or are undergoing at the moment. So, if you look at it, we still have not realized the pain that we have caused the victim. And so, the penitence is not 'genuine'. And so, the penance remains. The problem with this is that even after reading this, you will realize that the penitence will only come from within, from the heart. Reading this or not will not get you any closer to genuine penitence....
Sin against God - this is what I know - He is the most Beneficent, the most Merciful. But the rules above apply.
Don't ask for punishment. Be genuine in your penitence. For He is the knower of which ye know not. If you don't understand the depth of the statement above, I suggest you don't take advantage of it.
1) Committed against another being
2) Committed against Him.
The system is based on fairness. What you sow is what you reap. If you are a sinner, there is a punishment. But again, the rule of double jeopardy applies. If you are punished in this world, you will not have to face a trial there. A note of caution - the punishment must be as per the severity of the sin committed. So, if you manage to get a 'lean' sentence for the sin in this world, your penance is not complete. The sentence must be completed.
Can penitence reduce/remove penance?
Well, this is a little tricky. The party wronged here is the one which has the right to forgive the perpetrator which can reduce/eliminate the penance but otherwise, it remains. Again, in the right sense of penitence, the perpetrator would feel so sorry about what he/she has done that the person may actually ask for penance. This again, is sort of an oxymoron since the purpose of penance is forgiveness and forgiveness leads to 'zero' penance.
Let me try to explain the para above, how many times do we ask for forgiveness where we genuinely feel that we need to be punished? Well, if that's not the case, then the penitence is asked out of fear of the punishment that we anticipate or are undergoing at the moment. So, if you look at it, we still have not realized the pain that we have caused the victim. And so, the penitence is not 'genuine'. And so, the penance remains. The problem with this is that even after reading this, you will realize that the penitence will only come from within, from the heart. Reading this or not will not get you any closer to genuine penitence....
Sin against God - this is what I know - He is the most Beneficent, the most Merciful. But the rules above apply.
Don't ask for punishment. Be genuine in your penitence. For He is the knower of which ye know not. If you don't understand the depth of the statement above, I suggest you don't take advantage of it.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Philosophizing
An observation - when adversity strikes people, they start to philosophize more. I am actually unable to put the point forward clearly but let me try it once again. Possibly because we are unable to change the situation we are in, that we look to philosophize and feel we are in some way dealing with the issue. There are several times one is busy appreciating a blog written oozing in philosophy or even the quality of the language used and skip doing a root cause analysis of the issue itself. In short, we derive some sort of pleasure out of the whole ordeal!
What we don't notice is that we are not focusing on the problem. If you don't believe me, try noticing it. What a sheer waste!
What we don't notice is that we are not focusing on the problem. If you don't believe me, try noticing it. What a sheer waste!
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